Acceptance

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation

-- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me,

and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing,

or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 417

This is such a powerful passage for me. It reminds me of what a control freak I am. When I get disturbed by things in my life I must realize that I AM the one that is distrubed. Not my wife, my dog, my son, my boss, my co-workers. I have learned over time that the ONLY thing I can control in ANY situation is the way I react or respond to it. It's very hard some days to NOT tell that person they are screwing up their lives and if they just did it my way things would be so much better for them. I mean look what a wonderful job I did of managing my life!! Each day I try to live in acceptance, when I do this I have a smaller chance of being irritable and discontent.

"Nothing absolutely nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism I could not stay sober;unless I accept life completely on lifes terms I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."

I always have to remember when the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence....its time to do some work in MY yard

There is a solution (Step 2). Almost none of us liked the self- searching, the leveling of our pride, (Step 4) the confession of shortcomings (Steps 5 &6 which). But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it (Step 1). When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at out feet (steps 4-9). We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.(Step 12) Alcoholics Anonymous page 25

The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward God's universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. (Step 12)

For me at this point of my recovery God is everything or he is nothing. Thru the process of the 12 steps I have finally learned that faith in God is of the utmost importance. By observing those around me who are still trying to run the show...who are struggling and have no serenity in their lives, and here I am going thru what I'm going thru and since I believe that God will take care of me I can face life in a calmness that is fairly new to me. But it is becoming comfortable. Trust me I have "dabbled" in drifting away, I have gone a week or so without saying my prayers and doing my meditations and I am no longer comfortable with that feeling. To those of you that struggle remember, I never wanted to do the steps but, they are a process. They are a process that allows us to recognize a problem (step1), realize and believe in a solution (Step 2). Make a decision to do what it takes to reach the solution (Step 3-11). And then when we have that spiritual awakening as promised (and the book if full of promises), we are then equipped to face life on life's terms. So as you start your day ask for Gods help, go thru your day and do something nice for someone and not tell anyone about it. Then at night say a thank you. Try this for 2 weeks and see how you feel.

Step 2

"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."

So it's not strange that lots of us have had our day at defying God Himself. Sometimes it's because God has not delivered us the good things of life which we specified, as a greedy child makes an impossible list for Santa Claus. More often, though, we had met up with some major calamity, and to our way of thinking lost out because God deserted us. (12X12 page 31).

Never being raised in a church but attending sometimes a fire and brimstone old testement God will smote you and you will burn at the gates of Hell church with my grandmother I was scared to death of God growning up. The things I had done I just knew were going to put me in a place that was really warm. I joked saying " I was raised in the desert, I like a warm climate and want to be close to my friends. Or I would say that I can't go to church because I don't want to be responsible for the chruch beding destroyed by the lightning strike brought upon the church from my precense. How the denial of my disease warped my mind. When I came into AA I could somewhat buy into the other stuff but that "God Thing" was not for me. I spent a lot of time doing "foxhole prayers" God, get me out of this jam and I will never do it again. I now have a understanding of a very loving and understanding God. He loves me so much he gave me self will and he will let me destroy myself if thats what I wish to do. BUT, if I choose to seek him. If I do a few things each day to nurture the relationship that I cultivated with him by the process of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous the he watches over me. He protects me. He has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. If you're new, If you're struggling its OK. Just remember for God to start working in my life I had to first be willing, then be open minded, then make the commitment to turn my will and my life over to his care, then take the action needed to bring about the psychic change needed to remove my obession to drink and align myself with HIS will not MINE.

Growth

We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets. (Alcoholics Anonymous Page 124)

This is perhaps my favorite line in the Big Book. What hope it gives! This simple sentence tells me that as long as I am willing to face my errors (steps 4 & 5)and rectify them (steps 7,8&9) that I will grow and use the knowledge and the experience of those errors and they will become assets (Change of behaviors which brings me closer to that spiritual experience that is promised in step 12 and recognized as my solution in step 2).Seems like a pretty good deal to me. Hope you have a good day and don't forget to say your prayers

A good anancronym AFGO= Another F'ng growth opportunity

Food For Thought 6/20/2009

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.(Alcoholics Anonymous Chapter 3 page 30).

My Friend Karen R. always said "When I was controlling my drinking, I couldn't enjoy it;and when I was enjoying it I couldn't control it". This is so true for me, I quit drinking so many times after a big drunk. Little did I know that quitting was the easy part. It was STAYING stopped that was the problem. Usually after a big drunk I would say OK no more! Then the next day it would be, Okay i'm feeling better maybe just one or two. "Over any considerable period we get worse,never better". Notice it doesn't say that we must be drinking for it to get worse? This tells me that to hopefully grow my spiritual condition faster than my disease is growing is the answer to the problem. I shudder at the thought of where my disease has progressed after 12 yrs of not feeding it. Happy Fathers day to those Dad's out there. Let's spend some time with our kids. Papa John, Happy Fathers Day it's mostly due to you and God that I am the man I am today. I miss you and love you so much!

Hello my name is Greg and I'm an alcoholic. I am sober today by a gift from God as I understand him and a willingness on my part to do what it takes to maintain that gift. I have been sending out a email to my homegroup for years now and decided its time to take the plunge into blogging. Being the type of alcoholic I am i'm resistant to change and doing things that are uncomfortable to me. I have to always remember something my wife told me in early sobriety before we were even together "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable". I heard that the first time and thought "What kind of F'd up crap is that"? Then I really started to think about it and discovered that in early sobriety we must do things that are uncomfortable to us but in time they become more and more comfortable. This blog will be set up a lot like my email newsletters I have been sending out. I will probably have a daily reading from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and share some of my experience on that reading. If you subscribe to this blog you will be able to respond or comment on the reading. I hope you sign up and participate. I know it may be uncomfortable at first but try it anyway, it will become more comfortable.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.(Page 30 Alcoholics Anonymous)

For me that concession came at about 8 1/2 months sober. I had been going to meetings. Had a pseudo sponsor ( A guy I called my sponsor but never called). In a 3 1/2 week period of July 1997 I had a series of events happen that was my bottom. I had been asked to leave the home I put the down payment down on by my fiance' due to me being so dry and angry; and we got into a argument and I put my hands on her which is something I had never done to any woman before and haven't done since. I was riding my motorcycle across town to stay with a friend for a few days to give her a chance to calm down, and as I was reflecting on the events of the past few weeks I thought perhaps getting drunk was in order. No sooner had that thought crossed my mind then I thought perhaps that's the reason for the situation I was in right then. I really think that God was talking to me that day. I realized right then that I was powerless over alcohol and just how unmanagble my life had become. The delusion was smashed!!! But, I wasn't NOW THAT'S a miracle!